angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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