I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
