Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
