everyone is single if you try hard enough
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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