It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
