You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
