There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
