Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
