is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
4 words: hood of his car
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
do herpes really smell.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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