Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
