I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
