how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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