I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
