he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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