the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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