I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My feet surprised me
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