ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
