but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My feet surprised me
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