I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
