I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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