those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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