Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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