mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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