Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
