gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
