Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
