it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
