I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
