we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
