You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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