I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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