Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
