Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
