Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
