I'm really into asian looking animals
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
