My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
