Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
