Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
