You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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