Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
