just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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