Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
