That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
