and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
