I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
