So many bounce houses so little time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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