great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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