Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
