I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
