More tranny stories later!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
