and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
