the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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